Posts tagged ‘my life’

September 15, 2012

Just babbeling

How do you perceive the world, and for that matter time in its relation to the previous perception.

I remember being a kid. Everything in life was a tragedy. There were no answers to the questions as the questions had no foundation in logic or general perception. As a child, to include teenagers, we perceive the world in such a strange matter. We didn’t think in absolutes. There were no consequences to our actions if we didn’t get caught. Its was survival of the fittest and only the mentally strong survived.

At just 16 years of age 2 of my friends had committed suicide. I’m not sorry they are gone. I don’t feel bad for them. They made a choice. What I do think about from time to time is how they perceived the world. Both kids came from decent homes with stable parents of the middle class, my perception. So, one could ask what went wrong, speculate. For me I have no idea as I suppose no one else does. Maybe it can be suggested that their very souls were troubled. That their minds perceived a different world than the rest of us lived in. It is had to say what is normal when there is no biases for normality. We all must die at some point no matter how the life is taken. This particular incident is the driving force for many thoughts. Why people do what they do. Why people think or act a certain way. How we perceive the world around us.

One of my perceptions that has come from this.

I was sitting the other day thinking about the fact that I was doing nothing and that nothing in and of itself is quite actually something. For what reason was I doing nothing. Was I just being lazy. Was I bored which by the way is a ridiculous thought in and of its self because we can always conjure up something to do. Boredom is just an excuse to justify why your doing nothing. A reason to complain that the world in not catering to you at the moment. So, there I was sitting, just sitting.

If I sit and do nothing; that’s my choice. If i sit doing nothing and wish i had done something; that’s my choice. So maybe sitting doing nothing us exactly what I want to do. If indeed it is exactly what I want to do then there can be no complaint. On the other hand, if it is not what I want to do then I should change what I am doing so that it is. Will doing nothing result in regret of time wasted. I refuse to have regret, so it can not. I must accept my actions as being a direct result of how I perceive  the world around me.
I need to work on the clarity of this one. Be back Later.

 

September 7, 2012

What measures a man

ImageIt been a couple years that I told a 17 years old kid, “What measures man is his actions, not his thought, not  his beliefs. ”

I believe this to be a true statement for all humans. It is our actions that make us who we are. It is our beliefs, opinions, values, morals that help guide our actions.

My son is 11. He is not yet a man, but still not a child. Life here is that of a vast labyrith. There are many twists and turns that lead to great black holes and dead ends. These children’s minds wonder in all directions, but down no road is there a sign that points, “This is the right way my dear child. Please take my hand and I will guide you.” The voices scream from every direction calling to the innocence of youth, making demands, challenging the very virtue of the child.

If I let my son do as he please eventually these voices screaming become reason, justification.  I see this happen all the time. Kids 15 years old stealing cars, doing drugs, having sex. Even the 17 year old had a child at 18.

My expectations are high, not because I expect them to meet them, but rather reach for them.  Everywhere in society kids are getting participation awards, feel good moments. If that’s the case then why do we even bother to educate when, in fact, all we need is a babysitter. There cheaper. Kids need to be challenged, expected to seek accomplishment.

It dawned on me the other day that my son could not cook a simple egg, because I have always made breakfast; I like cooking. He can now. Now he can make his own breakfast everyday, and he will.

I dawned on me that my son just expects me to do his laundry. Not anymore.
I will not feed or walk the dog. I will not check his math homework. They have an app for that. I will not do his chores because he wants to go play. Today he will become the man I want him to be.

He will make decisions. He will provide intelligent anwsers based on his participation in education. He will use critical thinking, and form opinions. He will change his mind when appropriate and seek truths where falacies lie. he will stand up for what he believes in and fight for beliefs where warrented. He will be kind, and do the right thing. And most of all before he leaves this house he will be judged harshly, and critically by the actions he chooses to make.

I will always be there to watch him stumble, to make mistakes and learn lifes lessons. I will catch him when he falls, and place punishment when needed. I will be firm and leave no rock left unturned.

Every failure, every one will lead him to success in life. Each and every achievement much greater than any feel good moment can provide.

Men are great when life is earned. You don’t get an award because your breathing.

May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

I never really think to much about this. As it turns out it’s just another day off, although today I chose to come into work. It’s the first time I have worked this particular holiday in eight years.

As always I sat on my front porch drinking coffee with my husband, reading emails, playing words with friends, checking groupon. The usual stuff. Not thinking anything about the day. It just a day. Then…….my iPad started beeping with all the site subscriptions I have. Everyone was writing about Memorial day in one way or another.

The lives that have been lost; the lives that have been forgotten. The injured. The found. Every life has a value to someone. Every person has been loved. Everyone gone remembered in some way by someone.

I work with Marines. I have lost friends, and acquaintances to war. I remember them often. The smile on their faces. The sound of their voice. The kindness in their hearts. The things they loved to do with their free time: skydiving, sailing, rock climbing, biking, etc. They are all amazing men.

At work guys don’t speak of the war much. I never really ask. Their home. There with family and the war is in the past, although I hear my share of stories.  Most are amazing and totally different than what you hear in mass media. It makes you wonder, so I no longer watch stories about the war.  The Marines are proud and I am proud of them.

I have meet boys who are now men that have lost their sight, their arms, their legs, the normal mental state. I used to feel sorry for them. I don’t anymore. They are proud of their misfortune. Proud of the job they have done. Willing to do it again without regret.

I don’t think about all I am grateful for everyday. I should. We have many freedoms that others don’t.  I should be more grateful. It’s a shame we need a day to celebrate the one who sacrificed. Those who have lost their lives for our benefit. Those who have sacrificed their lives for the ones they love. The country they love. It’s a shame that as a people we forget. We get so involved with the day to day we simply don’t have the time to remember. At the very least we have today.

In loving memory of my friend.

May 29, 2011

Chaney Ranch

This is an updated post. Jantz sent us a video he made of our son. And quit frankly I am super stoked about it.

May 28, 2011

Words with friends

Every now and again I get a Words with Friends bug. I just can’t seem to stop myself from wasting my time making simple words. I’m never really into the score, but who doesn’t like winning.

Now, I have been known on occasion to use a descrambler. There are times when I get stuck, or just don’t see the words before me. I usually prefer to go with a simple two letter word, and just man up to the embarrassment. It’s easier.

It doesn’t take an educated person to know that some words just are not used in the English language. At the very least there not common to most people’s vocabulary.

Paca – a large burrowing rodent in South America
Boskage – a mass of trees, or shrubs, wood,grove, or thicket Boscage
Bummalo – a small Asian fish
Crumbum – a despicable man
Epimysia. – muscle sheaths

I haven’t the foggiest idea about these words. Never heard them. Of course, it’s not to say that a person educated in Asian fishery wouldn’t know or use the word Bummalo, but words like this are not common. I think it highly unlikely, also, that people even bother to look up the strange words they are spelling.

Vowels make up everything. I learned this in first grade. Phonics are the key. If you can sound it out you can spell it out. Although it may not be a word, it’s defiantly worth the effort: ie, ea, aa, r, s, t, g, between vowels, ed at the end. It all about the sound. Simple vowel sounds is how we communicate. They are how we translate thoughts into words.

Scrabble is mind challenging, strategy orientated. It makes me think. Warms up the brain and for me is much funner than suduko. So the next time you play Words with Friends try using your mind unsteady of the descrambler. You never know what crazy word you will come up with. Not to mention blocking them from using triple.

Picul – a unit of weight used in some parts of Asia
Trinal – having three parts; threefold
Nutria – the light brown fur of the coypu. I’ll let you look that up.

May 28, 2011

Customer service

Do you remember about five or six years ago maybe just a bit longer? You could walk into any store and nobody would acknowledge you. It was hard to find help, because all the clerks were busy doing their own thing. I remember walking into Lowes one day. I couldn’t find one person to help me, nope not one. I left. I was irritated that no one seemed to acknowledge that was there to spend my money for their services. A lack of customer service then, for me, was the norm.

I remember the day that changed. I was in Vons. The produce department is the first department you enter, and since I go early their is always a guy stocking the shelves.

“Good Morning, is there anything I can help you find.” he says with a smile.
“No, I’m good thank you.” I return.

I was put off at this at first. I didn’t know what to think. I was in customer service shock. Now I have come to expect it. Demand it actually.

Recently, I was in Target. My daughter and I were wondering around looking for an item and as we stood in the middle if the isle looking lost and confused not one but five employees walked by us with no acknowledgement. No good morning, no hello’s, no can we help you find something. Nothing. We left and bought our item at another store, simple.

Customer service gurus.

From a consumers perspective, and a moms I believe Apple and Starbucks are the most successful because of customer service. I say this a lot.

Have a greeter at the door that can welcome you and direct you to your needed item.
Have staff on the floor to answer questions.
Keep your store well lit, and stocked.
Smile, be friendly.

This just seems like common sense, yes. It should be. Some statistics show that we pay more for better customer service. I believe having more staff on the floor is worth it.

One of my clients recently bought a used Apple Mac book and a new IPad. The Mac book had some code problems so he took it down to the Apple store. They fixed it for no charge. He describe how friendly and knowledgeable they were. How they spent time and attention on his issues. He was impressed and excited. This is the type of experience that will make or break a company. Because of his experience he will no doubt tell everyone he knows.

Customer service is indeed the leading key to success.

May 28, 2011

Really

I never noticed this until I heard it from some redneck southern comedian….no insult intended.

“My car got broken in last night and they stole everything.”
“Really”
“Nope, I just made that up.”

“We are sold out.”
“Really”
“Nope, I just don’t want to sell it to you.”

“I failed my drivers test.”
“Really”
“Nope, I just want youth chauffeur me around.”

Your getting it……right. Up until the day I heard the comedian. I didn’t realize how funny really was used in this context.

This is really hot!
She is really pretty!
You are really silly when you use really out of context.

In the right context the word is very useful description. It emphasizes greatness, largeness. But thats no fun if you ask me. So a big thanks goes out to our really redneck comedians for really rocking my vocabulary. Now if I could just find one to help me with sentence structure.

May 24, 2011

We survive

When I was a little kid I lived in Oklahoma. I remember the storms, the tornado’s. I don’t remember the exact day or time when three tornado’s ripped through our town. From our house you could see them over the trees. They were huge. I was little.

Tornado’s have no mercy. They come to destroy; take the very heart of man. As a kids we would run outside at the awesomeness of these great storms while our parents watched skies. It was only years later while I was in college there that I realized the true devastation that they caused or the fear and despair that they brought. In less than 10 minutes everything, all of it, monetary, mentally. It’s all gone. Hope is all that can be let and you struggle to find that.

Sunday a young marine was sitting in my chair. As I cut his hair I noticed his wife, girlfriend was quite upset talking on the phone from across the room. He explained that her aunt was missing and the tornado had leveled the area in which she lived.

The day after the tornado, when I was a kid, we went to school like normal. On arriving one of my friends told me her house had been destroyed. Bummer. That’s all we had and we went back to our daily lives. Then, as kids, we didn’t realize the impact. It was an adults world. We played. I’m not sure what happened to her and her family. In fact I don’t even remember her name. Only the destruction that her family faced.

In southern California we have wildfires. They can be tragic. Home are lost. Animals are slaughtered by the flames. Lives are changed. In times like these the people here do all they can for others. They open there heart and homes. There is no life left untouched and no hand left un-held.

One year I had the opportunity to help a horse ranch. The flames weren’t far and any blade of grass could set the ranch ablaze. So we weeded for hours. All the hay, and feed had to be moved in the barns and the horses had to be watered done. It was all preventive. The mere sight of embers blowing in the air was a warning that this needed to be done without haste.

I look back at my life and though I don’t think about it everyday I have escaped destruction and devastation many, many, times. I’m sure you have as well.

I guess the point here is…..humans survive. Though I can’t run around the world to lend a helping hand at times of destruction. My heart does go out to these families. All of them. I admire the strength they find to get though. The hope the have to move on. The compassion they feel towards others. It makes me wonder why there are wars.

To the families in Joplin and the rest of the world. My thoughts are with you,  all of them.  You are strong and will rise above this. I know in no way will my words ever help. They wont change the devastation. I merely wanted to think out loud for a moment about the strength of mankind.

May 23, 2011

Driving

Today as I am driving to the gas station after dropping off my kids I notice a man walking across the street before. He was of average height and build. Looked to be normal. Had everyday casual clothes on. Just walking across the street going from point a to b. I wonder where he is going. What he mint be thinking or whom he might be thinking about. Then like poof his whole life story pops in my head. I have made it all up.

He grew up here loving to surf and play guitar. He’s a musician by trade, but work is tough. The pay even tougher. So when he comes to run his errands he parks in a central location and walks. He figures it’s a good way to think and get exercise because he cancelled his gym membership. He needed to money to feed his two kids.

His wife is an RN at the local hospital. She is well educated and loves the sound his guitar makes when he plays. That’s how they fell in love. In a small jazz club. Recently she had to take a pay cut. He finds ways to save money by clipping coupons, walking, and car pooling with other parents.

You know his daughter is quite the budding ballerina. She dreams if being the princess in this falls play. His son is a star football player and practices hard to make it to the draft, although that is years away. Both kids play guitar to humor dad, but neither want to be a musician.

I have named him Joe because it’s an easy name. Joe is rather content walking. A happy man and I smile at the happy life I have given him.

After I get fuel its off to the dance studio to register my daughter for next season. I notice an older women sitting in her SUV just outside. Of course I have a story for her as well.

She’s a grandmother of two rather bouncy young girls. Who she takes care of while their mother is at work. No, she doesn’t live with them, but there’s are plans for that in the future when the housing market gets better and she can sell her house.

In the car she is discussing the dance schedule with her daughter. Who use to love to dance. She has fond memories of that. Now her granddaughters fill that void with twirling bodied, swinging arms, and dancing feet.

This is my usual day. Making up stories about people. Today they were happy. Sometimes they are tragic. But, there is always a story to be told.

May 23, 2011

Professionals vs Common sense

I read this article: http://nolongercensored.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/a-living-breathing-relationship/

“I’m not a professional and therefore can’t answer this question… professionally!” This is a direct quote.

At what point in time did professionals become the authority and common sense get throw out the window. The author makes clear, concise, valid points. Surely points that any good professional would make, for a price. Yet with some good old fashion common sense and experience he has come up with these on his own. Which, by the way, has saved him a bit of money both on a divorce attorney and a psychologist. With that he can take his lovely wife, assuming he’s married, out to dinner the next time he forgets to take out the trash.

I have a friend with a wife and 3 year old child that’s going to counseling. Their problem… communication. That’s a killer for any relationship. That’s common sense, communication. In fact without it we can’t even order a burger. We know it’s best approach. Yet we take a pass from using it when it comes to relationships, especially when it’s mixed with respect.

I’m mad at you and don’t want to talk now. Just say it, respect it. Space does wonders.
This is not working out. Ok, later.
Have two tubes of toothpaste, two computers. I do because I leave the lid off the toothpaste and I get angry when he’s on my computer touching my keys. Communicate these points. Easy fix.
Agree to disagree and let the dog lie in peace.

My husband and I have nothing, not one thing in common, except our kids. He loves to travel, I don’t. He loves the extreme, I don’t. He likes the news, I don’t. He likes beer, I don’t. He likes PC, I don’t. I don’t like anything he likes, but I like him. Why because of communication and respect. It common sense.

Another quote:

“What’s mine is hers and what’s hers is hers…wait! Just kidding! ”

Really, it’s true. Men see the world in these terms. They are willing to give up all worldly possessions for the woman they love. My husband is happy with my old, so I can have the new referring to computers, cars, monetary items. I’m happy. He’s happy. Items can be replaced. People can’t and I want to keep this fish. Common sense. I know you see that, right.

So why do people have to be so mean when it comes to relationships. Drag it out for months only to devastate some poor unknowing fool in love. Narcissism ring a bell.

You don’t need to be a professional to figure out that common sense = happiness, to include communication and respect. Exclude narcissism.

I hope I did justice to the original writer. Please check out his site. He makes very good points in all his posts. Truly, a professional with a great deal of common sense.