Posts tagged ‘postaday2011’

May 16, 2011

Should you help the homeless. Why or why not.

On my way to work there is an old guy with a tattered beard that sits on the side of the road. Sometimes he has a chair, but most of the time he sits on the ground gazing at the traffic as it passes by. My daughter goes with me to work frequently and has named him Bob, so that’s what I will call him here. Bob has been there many years. Sitting on the side of the road. They have construction going on to widen the road so I often wonder where he might go. Bob has been the topic of many conversations. We wonder where he sleeps. If he has a tent in the near by woods. We wonder where he gets his food. If people feel sorry for him and bring him McDonalds from down the street. We wonder if he works in one of the nearby farms, but we don’t think it likely. Bob never has a sign begging for change, nor has he ever. He has always just been there. I think Bob is unique.

Next to were I work there is a catholic church. They feed the homeless all the time. They lounge around all over the street, leave trash and urinate behind our building. I’m not even sure the church is doing a great service with their cup of soup lunch, but it’s not a decision for me to make

Where I live you can find the destitute standing on the corner begging for change. I have seen signs like, “Only fives and tens accepted.” Are you kidding me. I have seen then get out of cars to stand on the corner. I have seen them stand with children and dogs. I have seen some crazy things as I am sure you have. The type of crazy that makes you not want to help anybody.

I think that the point here I am trying to make is help the homeless is a kind jester. Volunteering is a wonderful thing, though it’s not something I do. It is probably something that I will never do in a homeless charity situation. If our government wasn’t such criminals in California we would have more jobs but they tax and fine companies right out of business. The fees alone to start a business will kill a dream. If we had more jobs there would be less need for social welfare. If we spent more time educating our children than we did with bureaucracy more teens would come out of high school being able to do more than work at Walmart. These are general statements. The are a million scenarios to each. I know this and I am not at all placing the burden on the state. The burden should rest with the homeless as well.

I have to admit I don’t care for them much. It’s not a situation that I would volunteer to help. There’s no easy answer here. Through out time society has had the burden of the homeless, the freeloaders, the vagrants, those lost to misfortune. For those who truly suffer then yes. The burden on society would be short lived, but for those who choose to make a career out of the kindness of others then no, and let them remain outcast from mainstream society.

Life isn’t easy. It shouldn’t be. It should be fun. It should be work. It should have joys. Both the ups and the downs. We should face hard times and good time. Life should never be a hand out, but rather a helping hand in a time of need.

May 13, 2011


Have you ever thought about who you are? The person you were born to be. There’s a code that makes you just like the code that makes the program I write on. That code is obvious when you have your fathers nose, or your mothers eyes. Your personality comes out in the code when your mom says, “Your just like your father.” It’s true you are. This is a story about one kids code.

A boy seven years old was not allowed to see his father anymore. The mom had grown to hate the dad for whatever reason. The court ordered visitation but she refused. She was mean and vicious. I know a lot of women like her. At this point she had moved out of state, remarried and wanted to leave the past in the past which meant not contact for the son with his dad. How does this benefit anyone?

As the years went by, and there has been ten, the boy grew out of control. He learned to speak his mind. He did crazy insane things unlike his stepdad who liked fishing, watching tv, being mellow. They couldn’t understand how the boy had gone down this road. They had tried to be good parents. What they didn’t get was that genetically the boy was extreme, crazy, was ready and willing to meet everyday at 110 mph. She couldn’t handle him anymore.

The phone call came. I’m sending the boy to visit. I can’t handle him. He’s out of control. I laughed when I heard this. The stories perfectly represented my husband and my son. Both extreme. Both crazy. That’s what I love about them. They are willing to take the world on at a 110 mph. It’s who they are genetically. It who the boy is.

My son with with same father. Before my son rode motocross he didn’t participate in school. In the first grade he was failing. I didn’t make the connection until after motorcycles came into his life. His teacher called and asked why he was participating. He grades were improving over night. He was 7 then. When he was 8 he told me, “it’s ok if I die out there mom.” He meant that every word. He’s 10 now and not only is he a great rider, but a great student. He takes responsibility for his actions and he has earned the respect of many. He’s a great kid.

Because me and his dad get along so well we have stayed together over the years. We have a great marriage. My son gets to do all these things because he is genetically just like the man that’s raising him. If my son had to hangout with a guy that liked fishing he would be a trouble maker. He would find some negative way to vent. He would have no choice.

I’m just a little curious what’s with moms. First, the only one it hurts is the kid 100% of the time. You slept with the guy, and got knocked up now be responsible. Boys need men. Men should raise boys. They need their genetic fathers regardless of your pissed off attitude. I know this doesn’t apply in every case, men who abuse. You get the point.

How do boys learn to be men? My son called his friend a pussy little cry baby the other day. I’m not sure I agree with his verbiage, but it was the truth. I let it go. One day my son was training for a race he crashed. We were all there, me, the EMT, other riders. He was screaming. i asked him several times if he was ok. He couldn’t hear me. I screamed at him, “Stop your damn crying, be a man and tell us where the he’ll it hurts.” he did, and he has ever since.

The 17 year old was out he for three weeks. I think he thought it was going to be all California sun and fun. Not at my house. If it ain’t motocross I ain’t going and that includes the beach. Thats what we did. We had our toy hauler then and lived in it on the weekends. My son doesn’t take weekends off. He serious about his business. He doesn’t screw around. I respect that and he has earned my respect and the right to dictate what we do on the weekends.

My son will be a great man someday. Not because he is my son but because he is with his genetic father. They have a lot in common. They are meant to be together for life. They are meant to learn from one another.

I’m not saying that step parents can’t get the job done. They can. What I’m saying is that holding you child to punish a parent on damages the child genetically. Man up. Be a responsible human. Quit being a cry baby.

January 9, 2011

Dance, Dance, Dance

It just seemed fitting to post on some of the topics I have missed: Don’t give up, Fear, oh yes an Aha moment. These three phrases speaks volumes.

Don’t give up and Losing interest.

Life is tough. You know it and I know it. Some days it totally sucks, and others are the best days of your life.  When I was very little I wanted to be a stock broker, but I knew that I would never be a mom if that was the path I chose. My final decision was to be a mom. I have never regretted that choice. I lost interest in being a stock broker. Life changed.

Being a parent is amazing and I absolutely dig my outlook on it. First, I can now talk to myself and it is perfectly acceptable. It also help to wear a bluetooth in your ear. When my kids were babies I would have whole conversations with them as I pushed them around the store. Of course they were to young to respond to my adult conversation, but I had someones undivided attention to tell my troubles to. Let me just say that talking out loud solves more problems that just keeping them locked up in your mind. A problem pondered upon is a problem unsolved. This is exactly the reason we tell our troubles to our friends, jot them down on paper.

Second, you can do anything your kids do and get away with it. Kids love to run down the isles of Costco, which is one of those buy in bulk warehouse stores. Jumping on the bed or other house furniture is great fun to. Dancing to a song you hear where ever you are. Making ridiculous faces to the people driving by. Lying in bed all day and feeling good about it. My all time favorite now that my kids are older, embarrassing them in public.

Having kids can change your life for the fun. I would never do any of these things if I didn’t have kids. It would be unacceptable. That’s just all there is to it. People would think your mad, crazy, loony. Even now that my kids are older I think out loud. They frequently ask who I am talking to and I always reply to them although there is no need for them to listen.  I have also learned that others opinions of me means little if anything at all. What’s important here is to have fun. I love acting like a kid.

Kids are naturally curious about everything around them.  My kids have gotten me to go through the mosh to catch frogs. It was a tom sawyer day pants rolled up to my knees and all. Make birds fly. Have you ever run into a crowd of birds and watched them fly away. Or laid on the beach and just let the waves wash over you. How about dancing on the coffee table.  Kids will boost your confidence to do these things. Make all your fears go away. They are totally an AHA moment.  I would have missed out on so much of life if I had not had kids.

Again still sick so Im not editing. Sorry if my thoughts Are not complete Thanks for reading

January 5, 2011

This is where things get hairy, Writing

With the end of school vacation coming and my work getting back to normal busy this could be a real challenge.  During Christmas I have a bunch of time off and the rain keeps us inside. That left a lot of time that I could write.

Life gets busy, busy gets hectic and hectic gets nothing accomplished. It would be a shame this early in the game to bow down and let this all go by the way side. So many thoughts that never see transformation in to words.

Here are a few things that I have come up with that I think might help.

Voice recorder on my phones front page so I can easily get to it while driving. Not that I should be messing with my phone while I’m driving.

Leave pen and paper everywhere so even if its a sentence or two I can jot it down.

On the goal of better time management this month. If I am waiting for something take notes instead of playing a game . That’s if there is no one to talk to.  We, as a general population spend a great deal of time waiting.  I wait to pick up my kids from school. I wait in line all the time because I always get in the slowest line.  I wait, you wait and there has to be a way to use this time to my advantage.

I need more focus, but to much organization just kills me. 15 min for this , 15 min for that, etc., would work wonders in everybody life I am sure. Do you know how much weight this world could lose if they worked out for a focused 15 min a day. On the bigger note how much I could write. I know its true.  It is.

On a final note if you are just passing by and have suggestion comments or would just like to share hoe you find them time to write leave a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. It would help me be successful

January 4, 2011

Texting vs Talking

Texting is great if you have something quick to say like I’m running late or hey mom I’m just checking in and I’m still at my friends.

Texting has become a worse habit than heroin. I often see people stop everything to respond to a text and then they stop again and again. take a break have a chat omg, are you kidding me, really. You spend more time testing than you would having a chat in real time.

Through out the day my husband and I use goggle talk. If it’s important I call but most of the time its nothing more than an update with no response needed. Its a way for us to stay in touch or just say hi, but even this can become annoying. When we hear our phone we are compelled to answer. Often the ringing gives us a sense of urgency, a sense of priority. Unfortunately that sense becomes more urgent than the very thing we are attending to like our job or our children. So for me texting is super annoying and takes up a great deal of time.

A time of technology. Here’s the deal maybe I’m just lazy, maybe I am just using time management, and maybe I’m just avoiding you. What ever the case may be I write on my itouch which looks a lot like texting on a iphone. I would use pen and paper but then I have to retype the whole thing and this could be time better spent writing something else, playing my guitar or just having a chat.

Ah the need for an iPad yet another device to disassociate your self from the masses,  communicate better with loved ones,  be more productive, or just have a little fun playing a game while your in the doctors waiting room.

For what ever reason we like our devices one thing is constant. We love them. All of them.

January 3, 2011

What makes me smile

Wow, that’s a big one. A long list, I guess list form it is.

My husband. He’s a goof but I love him. The first thing he told me was he’s an asshole and that’s not going to change. It hasn’t he just gotten better at it. Like vintage whiskey.

My kids. They can be a real pain the ass but that’s what I had them for. They are amazing. Ones a 10 year old motocross rider and the other is 11 and a dancer. Both are extremely smart, compassionate and really outgoing

The fact that you read this is pretty darn exciting. Lets not forget that grahambledeggs left my first comment which totally made my day.

Its rainy and cold outside which is awesome because it gives me an excuse not to do anything, and I am a pro at that.

Sitting here doing this,  playing my guitar, eating just about anything, the fire place burning downstairs. Life in general is pretty awesome.

And on the topic of would I regret dying today.  Nope not after writing this. I am pretty darn happy. Now off to play guitar.

January 3, 2011

Biggest Accomplisment of 2010

I remember the day because I looked at the receipt, May 5th. The day I bought my first guitar, but let me back track for a moment. I have a client that I see every week and I have for the last several years. Bo is just this side of a General in the Marines and an all around great guy. We discuss a great many things but one day in April he mentioned that he wanted to learn to play guitar. General conversation, blah, blah, blah.

My son races Motocross and at the time I was coming home Saturday night because I work on Sundays. I would stay out at the track till about 7 rush home for a shower, dinner and sleep then off to work on Sunday. This schedule left little time for anything. There came a day though that our daughter didn’t want to be at the track all day. She, and rightfully so wanted to play with her own friends, had been going to the desert and the track for the last four years. I can’t say that I blame her. Who would. She shouldn’t have to live in the shadow of her younger brother. So one Saturday we came home from the track right after breakfast.

I remember the day like it was yesterday.  There was nothing unusual about the day. We got home, unpacked the car, laundry, showered, etc. I did a few projects around the house while listening to Everlast who by the way is one of my most favorite singers. He isn’t from the south but has a soulful southern sound that lingers with me. His song friend was playing as I walked down the hallway to put my sons clothes in his room. On my way out I happened to notice his guitar on the floor. It’s a cheap First Act guitar that someone bought for him maybe hoping that he would have the patience to play. His patience is another story. Well I picked it up and spent the rest of the night making terrible sounds.

Right or left, now there is a confused soul. The guitar was right handed as most guitars are and little did I know about guitars at the time. I printed some chord sheets and as most of us do these days fired up You Tube to watch so videos on the subject. That’s poor guitar got flipped back and fourth. I just couldn’t get comfortable with it right handed and finally ended up changing the strings so it could be played left handed. I practiced for a week or so like this and like a great novel I just couldn’t put it down.

May 5th 2010. I was a little hesitant and extremely nervous the day I walked into Guitar Center. For some reason I thought when I walked through the door the guys would be pointing and laughing at me. Me playing guitar. Who did I think I was, a musician.  I don’t remember the guys name but I will never forget him. He was tall and his hair was swept back in Rockabilly style. His pants were cuffed at the bottom and he had more tattoos than most people need. New Orleans is what he reminded me of. I think had it been anyone else that showed me guitars that day I probably wouldn’t have bought one. He played several right handed guitar for me and tried to encourage me to play right as well.

I play left. Left handed guitars are few and far between. I understand that Gibson doesn’t make any left handed guitar and that’s fine I like my Fender. I now own a Fender acoustic, a Fender electric and a Daisy Rock acoustic that I take with me where every I go.  I would like to own an Ibenez hallow body electric somewhere down the road but times are tough and I just can’t afford the 800  plus dollars right now.

I’m a rock star. You never know what people do unless you ask and when you do they make an impression.  Brian another client of mine also plays guitar. It was in general conversation that I brought up my guitar playing and this is what he said, “So you are a rock star to.”

Me, “No I just started playing. I’m not very good.”

Brian, “If you play then your a rock star. I’m the best player on the planet and in fact the universe, because when I pick up the guitar I am awesome.”

Me, laughing at this didn’t get the point at the time but now do. I am a rock star the best player in the universe. Simple words of wisdom make me happy even though I suck.

What we learn from life. I learn from this everyday that it doesn’t matter if you do something well or if you play the same note over and over for the rest of your years. What matters is that you love what you do and you do what you love. If you are doing that then you to are a rock star. A legend in your own time.

Would I regret dying today. Nope. If my life ends today, I will be happy knowing that I made music and I will die a legendary guitar player.

January 1, 2011


Over the years I have written many things. Many emotions have crossed my path and many have changed my life. I’m no different than you and I believe that I find solace in thinking that. I am ordinary. I have ordinary days that I do laundry and pick up messes. I suspect you do the same. Ordinary and thinking that I am no different than you is how I relate to things. I don’t want to be different. I want to think different but i don’t want to be different. I want to know that when I look in the mirror I am just a face in the crowd no different than your face. I don’t at all on any level want to stick out, But in thinking that there are times I want to be noticed. I want to be noticed for the reason that I wan’t to be noticed for though and that is rarely the case. Often I am noticed to all the wrong reasons.

So I was looking through my computers for all those things I have written over the years. The thoughts, the short stories, the ramblings on about this and that. I found none, well a few though they were more recent if you can call 2 years maybe 3 ago recent. In thinking about all my writings; those things I had just jotted down and and the very fact that I had started this blog.  I didn’t think for one minute that over a million, more like millions are sitting at there computer doing and thinking the same thing that I am. Today I have found a connection….. with you. Today… tomorrow…next week…next month….next year regardless of where I am or where you are or even what we are doing. We both sit thinking…..writing….dreaming…..loving and hating the very things that make us feel alone. Hmmmmm. Suddenly the calm seems much clearer. The voices seem quieter, and the words are softer than ever before.

My desk is by a window. A panel to the outside world where voices….expression….faces drift by in the breeze. The air is different. I can’t hear your whispers but I can see them in my mind swaying through the trees, flying on the wings of birds as they are carried off to new places, new people. Voices that alter us as being that caress us with emotion, that change our state of being. I never looked before but there you are. Your voice sweeping by. Your words that change my life.

Would I regret dying today. No. I have made a new friend, listened where I had heard nothing. Felt the embrace of an emotion where there was once no connection. I opened my eyes and I saw you for the first time. You.

Its a side note.  Finding your blog isn’t as easy as you would think, but I would like to read it.  Click the like button or leave a comment and I am sure I will find my way to your words.

December 31, 2010

Human Emotions

This wont be the first on the topic and I guess I hold the right to change my mind about everything. An expression of what I think today.

Let me just say for the record that I am a pretty shallow person. We would all like to believe that we are above the trivial but in reality we are not. Not above it. I’m racist like everyone, but i think at the moment tribal is the politically correct term. I don’t like the color yellow. I don’t care who you are sleeping with although I do love a bit of gossip.  I want to talk more than I want to listen. And just keeping it real I have no friends that I would call on in the middle of the night that would come chauffeur me home from the bar so I don’t go. I pretend to have feelings for things that I could careless about and I don’t care about most things that don’t involve me.

Me now that’s a subject of reality.  Let’s just keep the topic real. We or I think most of us are in this life for something and it is our emotions that guide the way.

Greed, I think, is one of the most profound words of all creation, not just for the sake of money. We feel greed as it relates to love, passion, hope, desire, jealousy, hate, anger, and my favorite guilt.  We want it all and a great deal of it.  I know I do.

Greedy love. I don’t want the love of the masses. I don’t want to be famous. My perception of that would require me to fit in some skinny magazine mold that just annoys me to no end  Honest, the reality is they look better than me.  Airbrush does wonders I wish I had one I’m my bathroom. Not a lie.  The truth is I want my kids to love my like a dog, unconditional. Love without boundaries, without flaw, without question. I want lots and lots of this more than all the money in the world.  People crave love. Love should be like a disease that spreads out of control yet the one emotion that can fix most situations is more like the great Depression. It sits alone by itself patiently waiting for us to come along and soak it up.

Hope. Who doesn’t live for this.  I hope someone buys me an IPad. Hell  why not, I am typing this on a touch. Honestly I hope for an IPad more than I do world peace. This is reality. I don’t wake up everyday hoping for world peace. I enjoy arguing way to much. In fact I love it.   I hope I lose 10 pounds and I hope never to find it again. I hope my next meal is better than the last one. Yes, I love to eat even if its stale cookies. I will still eat then and then feel guilty about the whole thing. Not because I might put on a pound or two but because I enjoyed every bite of that awful stale vanilla creme cookie.  I hope my kids don’t fight today and I hope the do well in life. I hope that they take care of me when I’m old and I hope I get to have grandchildren. I hope you like what your reading and tell a friends.  I hope about  a lot of things and like greed I hope more, more, more and mostly I hope for things that benefit me in some way.

Desire and passion are a great deal like hope. I desire a IPad so I wouldn’t have to type on my touch or phone. I desire enough money to pay my mortgage. I desire happiness for my family. I desire all those things I hope for which by the way is a nut shell expression. Like greed I desire what I haven’t got. Right at this very moment I desire a swipe keyboard on this touch. Desire relates to the positive as well as the negative. I desire ones happiness while I desire anothers unhappiness.  It’s just that simple desire is greed disguised

Pack your bags we are going on a guilt trip. I heard that expression years ago and have loved it ever since.  When my kids are mad at me I can make them feel guilty.  Twist thier eyes into seeing my perspective. Controll their every thought.  I’m not going to lie it’s parental love at one of it’s finest moments. Don’t pretend you don’t do it, you do.  My child wants a birthday party but times are tough and we can’t afford it. He is trying very hard to make me feel bad about his current situation but mama has arrived with suitcase in had and we are going on a guilt trip. How dare he be so selfish.  We have bills to pay. I need fuel for work. But mind you I just took yesterday off for no reason.  I suppose we are both selfish. People are just selfish by nature.  Me for not working to give him a birthday party and him for not understaning the current condition that the family faces.  Yeah, I know it was wrong to take the day off but in my defense I just wasn’t feeing work. Not much of a defense. So I give him the guilt trip and as sad as his little face is I feel a victory because I have won. I know what you are thinking… this makes me a real jerk and quite frankly thats fine because I would rather he feel bad than me. Human nature I ask my self. I suppose in a good many ways it is. As humans we always want to come out on top. We always want to be the winner. Second place is the first loser after all.  The truth is this I would have rather spent the money on a new guitar for me than have a birthday party for him. At some point in time I will write just how I feel about social gathering. Don’t be fool though I do so much for that kid and as these tales unfold you will soon, maybe, possibly agree with me.

So, greed.  It is the cog, the wheel, the machine that drives each and every one of us. More importantly it drives me. I greed for more of everything from coffee to love to the monetary like an Ipad or a new guitar. Left handed by the way.