Posts tagged ‘today’

September 12, 2012

The whisper

Find wonder in the smallest things
Find beauty in decay
Find hope in desperation
Find me
I am your voice

Find words in all that is lost
Vision in all that is blind
Find me
I am your words

Find love in hate
Compassion in anger
Dream all that can be real
Dream of me
I am your heart

Don’t get lost
Don’t stay away
Don’t hide
Don’t dissolve into nothing
I will find you
I am your soul

Travel lightly
It eases the pain
Joy will overcome
We will regain
We are strong, you and I
We are one

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May 16, 2011

Gratitude

I’m not a great writer, but I enjoy it. I’m not very good at telling stories either but I’m trying. I hope you get from this story the joy I got from hearing it.

I work all day Sunday and the best part of work is the conversations. Most of the time the chatter is about nothing more than what guys did Friday and Saturday night. It’s always interesting, drunk stumpers, raging parties, but yesterday was different I meet a guy who had just come home from Afghanistan. I know lots of guys that had been though I don’t usually ask them about their trip. This guy shared part of his.

It’s easy to take for granted that we have running water and electricity. We have had it all our lives. When ever we feel like it we can use the bathroom, take a shower, wash our hand, have a drink. It nice. We can turn on the light and read a book to our children, put on a night light when our children are scared of the dark, have motion detectors out side to secure our property. Water and electricity alone gives us the life of royalty many wish they had.

It is my understanding that for the most part people around the world want what we have. What we take for granted, and it’s not just the basics like water, electricity. It’s everything. It’s safety, protection, rights, education, freedom, shelter, and these are what we consider basic rights. Then we have more above and beyond the basic needs, iPads, computers, cars, money, nice clothes, toys, and time to spend with our family. When you lay it out like this we truly are kings and queens like no other in history.

The man I talked to lived in a remote area of Afghanistan for seven months. There was no water or electricity. No bathrooms, no showers. For him it was an amazing experience. They built schools and kept the village safe. They helped where the could and the people appreciated it. The form bonds with the elders and are greatly missed now that they a gone although another group has come to take their place.

As the guy was telling me about all that they didn’t have and how they wanted to be like us. I had only one question. Is gratitude a hard concept for his daughter to understand. (I had noticed her walking by with him before he came in to get his hair cut. She was about the age of my daughter and I was a little curious.) He smiled, and I knew the story would be great.

As he did his duty in a country that very little he found that the people were basically happy. They appreciated even the simplest things. When he would call his daughter and tell her how the kids had no toys, no game stations, nothing that we have the daughter wanted to do something special. Over the years they had bought there daughter build a bears from the places they had traveled. She had a fine collection of thirty or more. With the help of her mom she boxed all of them up and shipped them to her dad. For every bear her father gave away he took a picture to send to his daughter. In her room she has all the picture of the happiness she brought into this world. She was unselfish and kind. She found a way to relate to those less fortunate than her. She gave without any expectation of monetary return.

The dad said the kids were happier than you could imagine. They didn’t believe that some would do something so generous. The shared this new found joy with their friends. This is a type of gratitude that most of us will never know. Most of us will never visit a third world country and see the face of a young child smiling with gratitude, but today I wish I could.

May 11, 2011

Self worth

How do you feel about yourself? When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you hide from it? Do you loathe it? Maybe you love it? Are you vain? Do you cherish the reflection?

If you are normal and I will assume you are in a special, f…..t up sort of way. Then you probably feel and see all these things, plus more. I’m writing a bit in response to Eminem’s song beautiful. I’m thinking so I am writing.

Everything you do has a positive and a negative side. Your hair was cooperative today, but it wasn’t the day before. You feel fat but you won’t tomorrow. You feel happy. You feel sad. All of these are the basics. Then there are the more complicated. Your unsure, self conscience about public situations. You can define that how it fits. You walk with your head high, you rule the world. Positive and negative. Everything has it’s place on the coin as it’s tossed.

We don’t determine we are fat unless we feel negative about what we see in the mirror. We feel the negative, search for it. It’s how we find the positive. We look in the mirror, we see a person who faces fears, turmoil, torment. It’s easy to see what we don’t like. It’s easy to pass self judgement. To put a value on self worth. There is no value on that. There is no value on who and what you are. It beyond that.

There is a value on life. I do not value those who murder others. Those who commit crimes. Those who suck up my tax dollars because they don’t want to work. I could care less about these people. That may make me a bad person feel free to judge me. Animals kill their weak. There is not value in the weak for animals. I don’t judge animals for this. Animals live in basics there is a beauty to that I respect. The prior statement as to the value of life is simply my opinion. I know you have yours.

Your self worth is dependent on so many things. Your mom said you were a loser, ugly, dumb, fat. You were abused. To many times our past represents who we are in the present. You are beautiful, smart, amazing.

I feel that I keep saying this. It just keeps coming up in things I see, songs I hear.

Im self conscience about being in public. I don’t like people talking to me. I never have the right words to say in return. Don’t like crossing the street I feel like the people in the cars are watching me. Don’t like traveling out of my circle. Like you, I feel like all eyes are on me. I don’t want to stand out in the crowd. I don’t want to be noticed. I don’t want to chat with strangers. It gives me anxiety.

Here’s the truth. I’m not watching you. I am sure you are not watching me. I don’t go around judging people, making fun of them. Oh I wonder about their life. I wonder how they got so fat. I wonder what happened to their missing leg. I try not to stare, but I do sometimes. I know you feel the same as me. Just as uneasy, nervous, scared, a wreck. We all are; I found my freedom.

My kids gave me the freedom to be alive. I skip in the mall. I sing stupid songs. I laugh out loud. I live with no anxiety about anything. They were my freedom. My heroes. No judgement required.