I mentioned someplace, maybe not, my garden

It must have been in late march. I was getting better then. I feel better now. I planted a vegetable garden, but not a tiny one. It is as big as my backyard. I know you can’t see it and that’s the trouble with the way we communicate here, but its really really big. I planted everything. Every kind of seed that I could find at the store, even radishes and I don’t like them. Somebody does and I will find them and they will have radishes.

It was on that day when I walked into the grocery store after I paid almost 3.50 a gallon of fuel for my car I noticed that lettuce was over a dollar a head. Holy crap I say and I said it out loud but in a softer tone as to not embarrass myself although I do that a bit. So I thought I would plant a garden and grow my own lettuce. I picked up my shovel. Its old and the spade is cracked but I like it all the same. I dug and dug and dug. Over time my whole backyard was turned into a produce growing machine. Let me just say that I love to dig. I would in deed make one of the finest ditch diggers in the land. Crazy I know that is what you may think but there it is I love to dig, and dig some more. I could have gotten a tiller but that would not have been as much fun.


If I and you plant a garden the carbon foot print gets reduced. There is less fuel being used. BUT, the farmer still has to farm and the driver still has to drive and the grocer still has to sell. If I, you, you, you and you plant a garden then this might be true. We just put somebody out of a job and the statistics didn’t say that.

Food contamination may be a respectable statistic. I don’t know what you think. Dirt is a fairly dirty thing and who’s to say that my dirt is any better than the farmers. Who’s to say that the neighbors cat will not come along and pee on my lettuce. Who’s to say. Its a crap shoot. I just would rather not worry about these things.

Health if you want to buy into this one. I go out and work in my garden nearly everyday. I already eat many vegetables, except radishes. I don’t like them. Will I eat more. I took the time to grow them I suppose I will. I just wonder though if every cucumber has the same nutritional value as the next one. How many cucumbers did they teat to come up with their nutritional value chart. What about different dirt’s. Maybe my dirt has less nutritional value than yours. After all thats where they are pulling there energy from. Should I give the dirt a vitamin every day. I take one……sometimes.

Mental health. Really. OK here I go. Is it relaxing? No, its a lot of fricking work. I could be sitting on the porch drinking a beer. Is it going to prolong my life? Maybe. I will let you know when I die. Have I lost any weight over doing this? I’m not fat to start with and I like cooking so no. Do I feel a sense of accomplishment? I do and I am very proud of what I have made. I have made lettuce. I am officially a god of lettuce that is. Its yummy all the way. One last thing here, I don’t think I had all these bugs before. I get raging pissed off when the snails eat my plants. I hunt those suckers down with a vengeance to kill. Is that good for my mental health? No, no it is not. I hate bugs and they hate me otherwise they wouldn’t eat my plants. The war is on and god is laughing. Ha ha ha sucker. That’s me the sucker. And dare I say that as mad as I am I am laughing to. It’s funny. I am at war with a snail, and he has body armor, but I have salt.

Purple carrots.

Have you ever walked in to a grocery store and noticed that all their produce is the same. All the carrots are orange, the cucumbers are green and the tomitillios are also green. I have purple carrots. Just for fun go to the Burpee website and look at the carrots. Awesome. I can’t wait to eat purple carrots. cucumbers that look like little yellow tennis balls and purple tomotillios. I also do not like tomotillios.

Maybe I will be back later to finish this. I ran out of things to say and my boy is hungry. Got to go cook, run and kill snails. What a life.


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